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Post by nursesugar on Feb 10, 2014 22:15:38 GMT -5
Please excuse the long post. I'm in a bad way right now and I don't want to share this with all of the idiots on Facebook. Y'all are a special bunch, so I know you'll appreciate the sentiment.
Some of y'all know that I was raised by my grandmother. And just a few of you know that it's because my mother was (and still is) a raging alcoholic. She drank, heavily, before I was conceived, and then again after I was born. I can only thank God for the sober months while I was growing.
She disappeared time and time again, leaving me behind like I was nothing more than a burden. My grandmother was there to do the job that my mother should have done.
During the alcohol fueled insanity that was my childhood, my mother met my stepfather. I was 6 at the time. He seemed alright in the beginning, but then his true self came out. He beat my mother close to death many, many times. As an adolescent, I tried to intervene several times only to be thrown into a wall or told to shut up before I ended up in the street with no where to live.
I was never able to have friends over, like other children my age did. Only once, did I try, after she promised to behave. I was stupid enough to believe her. She ended up drinking so much that night, that she passed out and started foaming at the mouth. My friend's mom picked her up just as the ambulance was leaving.
When I was 14, my grandmother, who had lived with us my entire life, was kicked out of the house during one of my mother's drunken rages. Literally. All of her belongings were thrown onto the road and the doors locked up tight. I was told that I had two choices. To be quiet and deal with it, or to end up like my grandmother: no longer part of the family. I left. I didn't take a thing with me but the shoes on my feet. I helped grandma pick her things up while we waited on a friend to take us to a hotel.
I never lived in my parent's house again after that night. Because of my grandmother, I was able to get to where I am today.
She's been feeling ill the past few weeks, and I know she was worried that she'd caught another cold. I went through my checklist of health related things to ask her during our last phone conversation. She said she was tired, and felt sick, but thought she'd be ok. She ended up going to the hospital via ambulance after taking a fall in her apartment. The doctors said that she has pneumonia and there are 3 spots on her lungs. She's been there for a couple of days now.
Tonight, I got a phone call from my sister saying that grandma has had a change in condition, and is now very confused, unable to speak much, and shakes very badly. I tried to talk with her on the phone and I had to hold back the tears. She was not making any sense. My smart, well spoken grandmother was just mumbling utter nonsense. Then, she asked who I was. I fear she may have had a stroke. All the signs/symptoms point to it. The neuro team even came in to examine her and they're running all sorts of scans now. They think she might be Septic (blood poisoning from an untreated infection) and that it's causing her condition to deteriorate as rapidly as it has.
I had to sit down with Hayley (my 12 year old) to tell her a simplified (and slightly sugar coated) version of what's happening. Grandma helped me raise Hayley after I went through my divorce and had to work 3 jobs. This woman is Hayley's entire world. Naturally, Hayley asked to call my grandmother and talk to her, so I let her. She said she couldn't understand her, and I could tell that it scared her. She also said that grandma told her that she feels like it's her time to go. She said that she knows it's coming and was glad that Hayley called her to say goodbye.
Please, Hayley needs all the prayers you can spare. I'm worried about how this will effect her, as she and my grandmother are so very close.
Thank you. Sorry for the rambling.
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Post by jmfauver on Feb 10, 2014 22:24:32 GMT -5
Last May we took Colin to visit his grandma in the hospital on an overnight trip, just in case she got worse before school got out. We all had talked to her that morning on the phone and she was alert and doing well. By the time we got to the hospital she was non-responsive and in much the same state your Grandma is. That next morning, very early, she passed away. Colin was glad he got to go see her, even though he couldn't have a conversation with her, he could tell in her eyes that she knew he was there. It's tough to do, but I think kids are more resilient than we give them credit for, and him getting to see his grandma, as bad off as she was, gave him closure and helped him to move on.
I'll add you all to our prayer list while you work through this transition, helping your grandma to move on to her next home. ;-)
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Post by nursesugar on Feb 10, 2014 22:32:52 GMT -5
Last May we took Colin to visit his grandma in the hospital on an overnight trip, just in case she got worse before school got out. We all had talked to her that morning on the phone and she was alert and doing well. By the time we got to the hospital she was non-responsive and in much the same state your Grandma is. That next morning, very early, she passed away. Colin was glad he got to go see her, even though he couldn't have a conversation with her, he could tell in her eyes that she knew he was there. It's tough to do, but I think kids are more resilient than we give them credit for, and him getting to see his grandma, as bad off as she was, gave him closure and helped him to move on. I'll add you all to our prayer list while you work through this transition, helping your grandma to move on to her next home. ;-) Thank you, Hugh. I considered making the trip down tonight, so we could see her. But there are too many things in our way. It's 6 hours, one way. I would drive it in a heartbeat if we didn't have this winter storm heading our way.
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Post by jmfauver on Feb 10, 2014 22:57:28 GMT -5
Just be as matter of fact with her as you feel comfortable with. In Colin's case, his mom and his aunt who were both present and both RN's gave him the bare facts, even using medical terminology and explaining what it meant. It helped him to put conditional pain to the person he loved understanding that she was suffering and there was no fix for the problem thus she would be better off passing on. Subsequently, it cemented his career path to be a physical therapists and he is in his second semester of Healthcare Sciences in his freshman year of high school. In fact, he knows more than the techs at Marie's hospital knows already.
My point is, don't candy coat it too much. A lot of good can come from what we think of as the hard cruel facts of life, but also, your daughter didn't grow up with your childhood, and doesn't have the same attachment to your grandma that you do. You're an awesome mom, and as a professional RN, I have faith in you, that you will be able to empower her with an understanding of the situation that will both help her reason with the facts and mature through this experience.
You got this girl.
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Post by k80 on Feb 11, 2014 0:23:28 GMT -5
Please excuse the long post. I'm in a bad way right now and I don't want to share this with all of the idiots on Facebook. Y'all are a special bunch, so I know you'll appreciate the sentiment. Some of y'all know that I was raised by my grandmother. And just a few of you know that it's because my mother was (and still is) a raging alcoholic. She drank, heavily, before I was conceived, and then again after I was born. I can only thank God for the sober months while I was growing. She disappeared time and time again, leaving me behind like I was nothing more than a burden. My grandmother was there to do the job that my mother should have done. During the alcohol fueled insanity that was my childhood, my mother met my stepfather. I was 6 at the time. He seemed alright in the beginning, but then his true self came out. He beat my mother close to death many, many times. As an adolescent, I tried to intervene several times only to be thrown into a wall or told to shut up before I ended up in the street with no where to live. I was never able to have friends over, like other children my age did. Only once, did I try, after she promised to behave. I was stupid enough to believe her. She ended up drinking so much that night, that she passed out and started foaming at the mouth. My friend's mom picked her up just as the ambulance was leaving. When I was 14, my grandmother, who had lived with us my entire life, was kicked out of the house during one of my mother's drunken rages. Literally. All of her belongings were thrown onto the road and the doors locked up tight. I was told that I had two choices. To be quiet and deal with it, or to end up like my grandmother: no longer part of the family. I left. I didn't take a thing with me but the shoes on my feet. I helped grandma pick her things up while we waited on a friend to take us to a hotel. I never lived in my parent's house again after that night. Because of my grandmother, I was able to get to where I am today. She's been feeling ill the past few weeks, and I know she was worried that she'd caught another cold. I went through my checklist of health related things to ask her during our last phone conversation. She said she was tired, and felt sick, but thought she'd be ok. She ended up going to the hospital via ambulance after taking a fall in her apartment. The doctors said that she has pneumonia and there are 3 spots on her lungs. She's been there for a couple of days now. Tonight, I got a phone call from my sister saying that grandma has had a change in condition, and is now very confused, unable to speak much, and shakes very badly. I tried to talk with her on the phone and I had to hold back the tears. She was not making any sense. My smart, well spoken grandmother was just mumbling utter nonsense. Then, she asked who I was. I fear she may have had a stroke. All the signs/symptoms point to it. The neuro team even came in to examine her and they're running all sorts of scans now. They think she might be Septic (blood poisoning from an untreated infection) and that it's causing her condition to deteriorate as rapidly as it has. I had to sit down with Hayley (my 12 year old) to tell her a simplified (and slightly sugar coated) version of what's happening. Grandma helped me raise Hayley after I went through my divorce and had to work 3 jobs. This woman is Hayley's entire world. Naturally, Hayley asked to call my grandmother and talk to her, so I let her. She said she couldn't understand her, and I could tell that it scared her. She also said that grandma told her that she feels like it's her time to go. She said that she knows it's coming and was glad that Hayley called her to say goodbye. Please, Hayley needs all the prayers you can spare. I'm worried about how this will effect her, as she and my grandmother are so very close. Thank you. Sorry for the rambling. Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you are with this family during this time. I ask that you give them the strength and comfort they need to get thru this time. I all that you comfort this little girl and give her the understanding she needs during this difficult time. I pray that you return her grandmother to full health, Lord. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
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Post by Hooked on Quack on Feb 11, 2014 0:37:08 GMT -5
Thoughts and daily prayers from us to your family Cort. I hope your kids realize how good they have it, thanks to your hard work, dedication and sacrifice.
Please keep us updated.
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Post by jmffish on Feb 11, 2014 3:52:41 GMT -5
Prayers for you and your family....
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Post by hankus on Feb 11, 2014 11:23:23 GMT -5
sent
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Post by nursesugar on Feb 11, 2014 15:53:34 GMT -5
Thanks y'all. I sat down with Hayley and explained what was happening. She had some questions and I gave her the answers. She's worried, but knows that it's out of our hands now.
I spoke with my sister today, and there's no change in her condition. She's still very confused and can't really speak. I also found out, that over the course of the past several months, my grandmother has lost 100 lbs. I have asked my sister to ask the doctor about whether or not that could have anything to do with her current condition.
I'll keep y'all updated.
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Post by jmffish on Feb 11, 2014 17:07:46 GMT -5
Thanks y'all. I sat down with Hayley and explained what was happening. She had some questions and I gave her the answers. She's worried, but knows that it's out of our hands now. I spoke with my sister today, and there's no change in her condition. She's still very confused and can't really speak. I also found out, that over the course of the past several months, my grandmother has lost 100 lbs. I have asked my sister to ask the doctor about whether or not that could have anything to do with her current condition. I'll keep y'all updated. Will continue to pray for you and your family....Good to hear Hayley is wanting more info as well, means she understands what you are telling her....
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Post by keebs on Feb 12, 2014 12:38:22 GMT -5
Oh Cort, my heart goes out to you and Hayley!!!! Prayers going up!
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Post by nursesugar on Feb 12, 2014 14:30:22 GMT -5
Thanks, Duree. I got an update from the neurologist. The brain scans look good. There are no signs of stroke on any of them. I am SO relieved to hear that. Now, they're redoing some bloodwork to confirm Sepsis. The neurologist is pretty sure that's what's causing the confusion and weakness. He's optimistic about clearing it up, but reminded us that it's a very serious infection that is now in her bloodstream. So, anything can still happen.
Thank you all for your prayers.
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Post by keebs on Feb 12, 2014 14:46:58 GMT -5
Thanks, Duree. I got an update from the neurologist. The brain scans look good. There are no signs of stroke on any of them. I am SO relieved to hear that. Now, they're redoing some bloodwork to confirm Sepsis. The neurologist is pretty sure that's what's causing the confusion and weakness. He's optimistic about clearing it up, but reminded us that it's a very serious infection that is now in her bloodstream. So, anything can still happen. Thank you all for your prayers. I've heard of sepsis, that isn't anything to take lightly for sure! Keep us posted!
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Post by jmffish on Feb 12, 2014 15:39:45 GMT -5
Thanks, Duree. I got an update from the neurologist. The brain scans look good. There are no signs of stroke on any of them. I am SO relieved to hear that. Now, they're redoing some bloodwork to confirm Sepsis. The neurologist is pretty sure that's what's causing the confusion and weakness. He's optimistic about clearing it up, but reminded us that it's a very serious infection that is now in her bloodstream. So, anything can still happen. Thank you all for your prayers. Continued prayers for your family
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Post by jmfauver on Feb 23, 2014 22:36:14 GMT -5
Any updates?
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Post by nursesugar on Feb 24, 2014 8:33:52 GMT -5
Sorry, I attempted to update a couple of times this week, but then got sidetracked.
During the couple days after I posted last, I spoke with my sister several times and asked questions about meds, routines, scans and so on. Things got pretty bad. Grandma could not remember who anyone was. She was talking non-stop, but not making any sense. She was just mumbling random words and making noises. She would talk out loud to people that have been dead for many, many years. She even said that her dog, Porkchop, was laying on the bed with her. He's been dead since long before I was born. Needless to say, things were looking pretty grim.
I'd learned that they were not giving her anything to help her sleep, and because she was in so much pain and discomfort from everything- she was just not sleeping at all. So, I told my sister to ask the doc for an order for sleeping pills. They gave Grandma an Ambien, and she slept for a solid 10 hours. I really wondered if I'd made a mistake by asking for it, because she was OUT.
When she woke up, she was coherent, speaking actual sentences instead of just making noises like she had the last few times I spoke with her. She knew who Hayley and I were (there were several phone calls that left us in tears, because she could not remember us). The severe dementia-like behavior she'd been displaying for the past week was gone.
I really have no explanation for it, because I know how bad her chest infection was and how serious her condition became when the sepsis set in, but Grandma is back to her old, fiery self. She's still a little weak, but has been participating with physical therapy for several days now.
They're discharging her tomorrow. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. They really helped. I know they did, because from a medical viewpoint, she couldn't (shouldn't?) have made it back from where she'd been.
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Post by jmfauver on Feb 24, 2014 8:48:09 GMT -5
Awesome news Cort. Stay on top of that situation, you done good gal.
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Post by nursesugar on Feb 24, 2014 8:56:43 GMT -5
Awesome news Cort. Stay on top of that situation, you done good gal. Thanks, Hugh. I could tell that my sister as getting annoyed with all the calls back and forth, but since I spent so much time learning about this stuff, my brain just kept trying to find the solution. I'm becoming more confident in my critical thinking skills, for sure. This week alone, I've taken 2 patients to the ER to be treated for illnesses. I gave my opinion to the doc, both times, and turned out to be spot on. Both times! It is an amazing feeling. The docs didn't seem to care for, or about, it- but I am stoked.
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Post by jmfauver on Feb 24, 2014 9:00:01 GMT -5
Awesome news Cort. Stay on top of that situation, you done good gal. Thanks, Hugh. I could tell that my sister as getting annoyed with all the calls back and forth, but since I spent so much time learning about this stuff, my brain just kept trying to find the solution. I'm becoming more confident in my critical thinking skills, for sure. This week alone, I've taken 2 patients to the ER to be treated for illnesses. I gave my opinion to the doc, both times, and turned out to be spot on. Both times! It is an amazing feeling. The docs didn't seem to care for, or about, it- but I am stoked. My wifes been an RN for over 26 years and she will tell you that most Dr.'s are egotistical donkeys. Surgeons even worse with their people and co-worker relational skills. She ignores their attitudes and does what is right for the patient anyway. In the end she has saved countless Dr.'s and Surgeons from a nasty malpractice suit, but they'll never thank anyone for saving their hiney's.
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Post by jmffish on Feb 24, 2014 16:14:29 GMT -5
Sorry, I attempted to update a couple of times this week, but then got sidetracked. During the couple days after I posted last, I spoke with my sister several times and asked questions about meds, routines, scans and so on. Things got pretty bad. Grandma could not remember who anyone was. She was talking non-stop, but not making any sense. She was just mumbling random words and making noises. She would talk out loud to people that have been dead for many, many years. She even said that her dog, Porkchop, was laying on the bed with her. He's been dead since long before I was born. Needless to say, things were looking pretty grim. I'd learned that they were not giving her anything to help her sleep, and because she was in so much pain and discomfort from everything- she was just not sleeping at all. So, I told my sister to ask the doc for an order for sleeping pills. They gave Grandma an Ambien, and she slept for a solid 10 hours. I really wondered if I'd made a mistake by asking for it, because she was OUT. When she woke up, she was coherent, speaking actual sentences instead of just making noises like she had the last few times I spoke with her. She knew who Hayley and I were (there were several phone calls that left us in tears, because she could not remember us). The severe dementia-like behavior she'd been displaying for the past week was gone. I really have no explanation for it, because I know how bad her chest infection was and how serious her condition became when the sepsis set in, but Grandma is back to her old, fiery self. She's still a little weak, but has been participating with physical therapy for several days now. They're discharging her tomorrow. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. They really helped. I know they did, because from a medical viewpoint, she couldn't (shouldn't?) have made it back from where she'd been. Great news!!! Continued Prayers for you and your family... Awesome news Cort. Stay on top of that situation, you done good gal. Thanks, Hugh. I could tell that my sister as getting annoyed with all the calls back and forth, but since I spent so much time learning about this stuff, my brain just kept trying to find the solution. I'm becoming more confident in my critical thinking skills, for sure. This week alone, I've taken 2 patients to the ER to be treated for illnesses. I gave my opinion to the doc, both times, and turned out to be spot on. Both times! It is an amazing feeling. The docs didn't seem to care for, or about, it- but I am stoked. Having spent as much time in the ER as I have with my wife when she first got Fibro and no DR, knew what she had, I can tell you most of the nurses are who I wanted to deal with... Thanks, Hugh. I could tell that my sister as getting annoyed with all the calls back and forth, but since I spent so much time learning about this stuff, my brain just kept trying to find the solution. I'm becoming more confident in my critical thinking skills, for sure. This week alone, I've taken 2 patients to the ER to be treated for illnesses. I gave my opinion to the doc, both times, and turned out to be spot on. Both times! It is an amazing feeling. The docs didn't seem to care for, or about, it- but I am stoked. My wifes been an RN for over 26 years and she will tell you that most Dr.'s are egotistical donkeys. Surgeons even worse with their people and co-worker relational skills. She ignores their attitudes and does what is right for the patient anyway. In the end she has saved countless Dr.'s and Surgeons from a nasty malpractice suit, but they'll never thank anyone for saving their hiney's. Nurses are the work horses the Dr's just get the pay checks..
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